So, after Gaurav's extended family found out that we would be in town, those who were able came by on Sunday for a party.
Let me just say, Thank God For Facebook.
Meeting a shit-ton of people you don't know is always "exciting"...now imagine if their first language is not your own, their culture is different, and you can only pronounce their names after practicing in a mirror for a week. Facebook makes this 100x easier! I've already been able to put faces to names (well, the pronunciation that I have made up on my own of these names)
The other really beneficial thing is that I made Gaurav list off his family tree a long time ago. It just hung out in the back of my day-planner. (Yes, I have an actual paper day planner, one that you write in with pens and pencils). I would look at it periodically, or sometimes I would pull it out when I got a new facebook request. As a general rule, if your last name is Jain, I would accept your friend request without having any idea who you were...
The other thing that helped make this a little less "exciting" was the receiving line after the Hindu ceremony. I got to get used to that feet-touching thing that is reaaaaalllllyyy "different" if you didn't grow up doing it. Gaurav's friend Kristen (Of Kristen and Harish) promised me that I'd get used to this. She was right. BUT the hardest part can be figuring out WHO you're supposed to do this do. At first I thought it was anyone older than you, but its more like anyone a generation older than you. So even if you have a cousin much older than you, it appears that this is a no-go. So my strategy for this was to always hang back and be the last to say HI. (This was pretty easy, since Gaurav hasn't seen his family in so long, he usually ran right up to greet them)....as I was waiting for my turn, I'd yank over some other family member that I had met all of 5 minutes ago and ask them who the new arrival was.
The other culturally different part of this is that, in the US you have "aunts" and you have "uncles" which are any collection of your parents brothers and sisters in their spouses. In India, your maternal OLDER uncle has a different name than a maternal younger uncle, or a paternal older uncle, or paternal younger uncle. You get the idea.
Now, I don't really know all the ins and outs of this, but I'm picking it up as I've met people over time. But I don't know this well enough to remember it all on the fly.
So someone would say: "This is your..... Chachu"
I think to myself "Bless, you. Now what was your name"
(I won't even get into the whole "cousins" that are sisters or brothers thing.)
The other thing that takes some time getting used to is that Gaurav's uncles, aunts cousins, whatever become MY uncles, cousins, aunts. I would introduce my uncles as "Uncle Guy" "Aunt Mary Jane" etc...and then I would reasonably expect Gaurav to call them by their first name. Its sort of like if you didn't know someone as a child, you don't really start calling them Aunt or Uncle as an adult. Not so in India.
My new strategy is to see how long I can survive without calling anyone by any name. Smile. Touch the Feet. Smile.
The one thing I am a pretty huge fan of is the "Uncle" "Auntie" thing. Pretty much any family friend/anyone older than you who doesn't have some other "title" can be an Uncle or an Auntie. I got familiar with this when I went to my friend's (Sree) wedding. I asked her what her parents' names were and after standing in shock and awe at her mom's southern indian name, she smiled and just said "Just call her Auntie." DONE. You never have to remember any names. This would be even sweeter if it applied to actual aunts and uncles.... I'll take what I can get.
Another thing about Indian get-togethers...they try to make you fat. I had been in India all of 24 hours, after traveling for more than 24 hours and being on an adrenaline high.I was exhausted. I didn't want to eat, I wanted to pass out. But someone probably tried to suggest that I get something to eat or drink at least every 30 minutes. And if I was eating, they try to shove more food on your plate. Its like you have to "box out" your plate while you eat or else more food appears. I wish I had an indian relative around during girl scout cookie time. I might feel less guilty if someone else is standing there telling me its ok.
At some point I must have looked like the walking dead because I was invited to "lay down for a rest." I'm gathering quickly that most of the family doesn't know that "lucy" and "lay down for a rest" doesn't mean what you think it means. I can have a 6 hour nap, and then sleep the entire night. But, this might be in my favor, as people might not suggest that I sleep if they knew I wouldn't be back for half of a day.
This party started around 9am, and I can't remember exactly, but it ended somewhere between 9pm-11pm. There are multiple meals involved. I feel like the minute they put the food away, they bring it back out. Thank God I was so tired, or I may have gained 15lbs in one day.
My computer tells me its 5:11pm central time, but I have no idea what time it is here. I think somewhere around 3:45am here. Normally I'm a champion at sleeping, due to a little "help" from mother nature. Here I am sitting up. I really have to find a way to save my boobs before I come back in november. I swear, no women must sleep on their stomachs here.
Anyway, Its technically wednesday morning here, and I am caught up through Sunday. Hopefully I can get the trip finished before I come home. I suppose 15 hours in an airplane on Friday might help finish up any loose ends.
Let me just say, Thank God For Facebook.
Meeting a shit-ton of people you don't know is always "exciting"...now imagine if their first language is not your own, their culture is different, and you can only pronounce their names after practicing in a mirror for a week. Facebook makes this 100x easier! I've already been able to put faces to names (well, the pronunciation that I have made up on my own of these names)
The other really beneficial thing is that I made Gaurav list off his family tree a long time ago. It just hung out in the back of my day-planner. (Yes, I have an actual paper day planner, one that you write in with pens and pencils). I would look at it periodically, or sometimes I would pull it out when I got a new facebook request. As a general rule, if your last name is Jain, I would accept your friend request without having any idea who you were...
The other thing that helped make this a little less "exciting" was the receiving line after the Hindu ceremony. I got to get used to that feet-touching thing that is reaaaaalllllyyy "different" if you didn't grow up doing it. Gaurav's friend Kristen (Of Kristen and Harish) promised me that I'd get used to this. She was right. BUT the hardest part can be figuring out WHO you're supposed to do this do. At first I thought it was anyone older than you, but its more like anyone a generation older than you. So even if you have a cousin much older than you, it appears that this is a no-go. So my strategy for this was to always hang back and be the last to say HI. (This was pretty easy, since Gaurav hasn't seen his family in so long, he usually ran right up to greet them)....as I was waiting for my turn, I'd yank over some other family member that I had met all of 5 minutes ago and ask them who the new arrival was.
The other culturally different part of this is that, in the US you have "aunts" and you have "uncles" which are any collection of your parents brothers and sisters in their spouses. In India, your maternal OLDER uncle has a different name than a maternal younger uncle, or a paternal older uncle, or paternal younger uncle. You get the idea.
Now, I don't really know all the ins and outs of this, but I'm picking it up as I've met people over time. But I don't know this well enough to remember it all on the fly.
So someone would say: "This is your..... Chachu"
I think to myself "Bless, you. Now what was your name"
(I won't even get into the whole "cousins" that are sisters or brothers thing.)
The other thing that takes some time getting used to is that Gaurav's uncles, aunts cousins, whatever become MY uncles, cousins, aunts. I would introduce my uncles as "Uncle Guy" "Aunt Mary Jane" etc...and then I would reasonably expect Gaurav to call them by their first name. Its sort of like if you didn't know someone as a child, you don't really start calling them Aunt or Uncle as an adult. Not so in India.
My new strategy is to see how long I can survive without calling anyone by any name. Smile. Touch the Feet. Smile.
The one thing I am a pretty huge fan of is the "Uncle" "Auntie" thing. Pretty much any family friend/anyone older than you who doesn't have some other "title" can be an Uncle or an Auntie. I got familiar with this when I went to my friend's (Sree) wedding. I asked her what her parents' names were and after standing in shock and awe at her mom's southern indian name, she smiled and just said "Just call her Auntie." DONE. You never have to remember any names. This would be even sweeter if it applied to actual aunts and uncles.... I'll take what I can get.
Another thing about Indian get-togethers...they try to make you fat. I had been in India all of 24 hours, after traveling for more than 24 hours and being on an adrenaline high.I was exhausted. I didn't want to eat, I wanted to pass out. But someone probably tried to suggest that I get something to eat or drink at least every 30 minutes. And if I was eating, they try to shove more food on your plate. Its like you have to "box out" your plate while you eat or else more food appears. I wish I had an indian relative around during girl scout cookie time. I might feel less guilty if someone else is standing there telling me its ok.
At some point I must have looked like the walking dead because I was invited to "lay down for a rest." I'm gathering quickly that most of the family doesn't know that "lucy" and "lay down for a rest" doesn't mean what you think it means. I can have a 6 hour nap, and then sleep the entire night. But, this might be in my favor, as people might not suggest that I sleep if they knew I wouldn't be back for half of a day.
This party started around 9am, and I can't remember exactly, but it ended somewhere between 9pm-11pm. There are multiple meals involved. I feel like the minute they put the food away, they bring it back out. Thank God I was so tired, or I may have gained 15lbs in one day.
My computer tells me its 5:11pm central time, but I have no idea what time it is here. I think somewhere around 3:45am here. Normally I'm a champion at sleeping, due to a little "help" from mother nature. Here I am sitting up. I really have to find a way to save my boobs before I come back in november. I swear, no women must sleep on their stomachs here.
Anyway, Its technically wednesday morning here, and I am caught up through Sunday. Hopefully I can get the trip finished before I come home. I suppose 15 hours in an airplane on Friday might help finish up any loose ends.
Totally feel your pain being a stomach sleeper myself. Might I suggest the partial push up position. You get used to it and you'll have buff biceps in no time. Should be easier in November. It will be colder so you can sleep on a pile of comforters.
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